HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUE

So pleased you liked the card we sent, it is usually you that makes me cry with your cards, got my own back ! We will have some bubbles to celebrate when i am down.
Just wishing you a very happy birthday!! Sue thought this was just your sort of humour.
With all love as always Mum xx

Happy birthday mum

Today would have been my mums birthday, as you can imagine it has been a strange day today not all bad i must admit.
But i can't help but miss her today i miss her laughter , her sense of humour but most of all her love!!
This was one of her favourite songs so


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM

Mixed emotions

I have written the start to this post three times already. How do you start to say you have lost someone so close without it sounding morbid? you can't !
Mum passed away two weeks ago today. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions for myself and the family over those two weeks, we cannot even lay her to rest until the 29th april beacause of the easter break and the crematorium being fully booked, so i have come home to cornwall for a week just to unwind a little if possible, but it seems worse here not being with the girls!
Just had a phone call from the minister who will take the service so it brings everything back to reality again, seemed a very nice chap wonderful to talk to so that was some comfort.
Had to leave doing the post yesterday so i am trying again today. I think all the dreaded paperwork is now finished can't do anything else.
My one consolation is that mum died peacefully in her sleep in her own house and not in any pain, but it certainly does not ease the pain of her going she will be missed so much by us all.
The little routines you had when they were here like telephoning at a certain time, ringing to say we are home safe, did you see that great football match, silly things you would have said, i cannot believe i shan't be doing these things again.
Not sure if i want to be on my own or have people around me its such a strange emotional time at the moment, but i'm sure things will ease with time.
In times like these you know who you can rely on to always be there for you so all my love and thanks to my family and friends xx

THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Words are often inadequate to communicate all that we feel in our hearts

Home ! but for how long?

Sue taken at her 30th birthday like mother like daughter always got a glass in her hand !!
THANKS "LITTLE DAUGHT" FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE


Had phone call yesterday afternoon from mum at the hospital to say that she was being sent home today !! without any warning and no phone call to me to let me know what was happening, as you can imagine mum was in a bit of a state not about the going home part but all the clothes and bits and pieces that she had accumulated over the past few months in there. Left messages with social worker no reply, so had to ring daughter sue again to see if she could get there in the evening to calm mum down a bit, which fortunately she did she is my life line i can tell you! so today i have been trying to get things in place like home help and such. Thought i would have a bit of rest bite for a couple of weeks but the old tummy is again in turmoil just wish sometimes that was someone to say its ok but at the end of the day it has to all be done. You think you are ok but it does take it's toll at times. Sue booked to come down next week for 5 days long before i got stuck in london so i am really looking forward to that she always has a knack of making me feel better.

The thought for the day
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles
by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage
MARK TWAIN

Poor aunty Dot

Had a phone call from my cousin to say that my aunty doreen has been taken into hospital on sunday evening with swollen legs and could not breath properly, it was such a shock i only spoke to her the week before never said she was feeling bad. It sounds quite bad the hospital have got her breathing sorted out, but of course they would not say to much over the phone as the nurse said " i don't really know who i am talking to" which is fair enough. so my daughter is going in tonight to gage a little more information and to see how she is. Aunty has always been there for me and mum can't bare the thought of her not being around, been crying and worrying the past couple of days. I am booked to come up next week for a meeting with mums doctors so we will see if i can wait until then but if not maybe earlier! It is such a bad time at the moment what with mum and now aunty have to stay positive though.

Arms or elbows

I am now back from my extended trip to london, what a trip! not the most pleasant i've had it must be said.
Started off really well with our daughters 30th birthday party that was a great night, we stayed outside all evening it was that warm, served homemade chilli and jacket potatoes from the bbq the bubbles flowed until 2.30am i think! will get some piccies soon.
Next stop was daughter and grandchildren it was so lovely to see the little ones big cuddles all round. Grace was so lovely she said "i have had an exciting day today" Me " why is that then did you do lovely things at playschool" Grace " no it was because you fat cat nanny came to stay and i love you" how sweet was that? I had two little girls follow me around for the whole of the few days i was there we played shops , mummy's and daddies hide and seek, would not have missed it for anything. The two elder girls had their nanny time when the little ones were in bed.
Next stop mums, she had not said a word the whole time i had rung her, but i arrived to find her in a right state, the house was in a mess which is not like mum at all, she had stopped the home help for two weeks unbeknown to anyone and not going to her day centre, cutting a long story short she just could not deal with things, she is now in hospital for a while the doctors were really quick at getting things done thank goodness, so she can now get the help she needs, and she finally said that it was time for her to maybe get into sheltered housing . So i had to stay on in london until mum was settled. All emotions shot through me at that time seeing her so vulnerable and alone i felt so guilty that she could not say anything to anybody she must have been desperate at times, but at least we can do something about it now.
Eldest granddaughter had an upset as well but thats for another time maybe, so she is going through a tough time at the moment.
Just like to thank my daughters and friends who were there for me when i was going through a tough time, you certainly know who you can rely on in a crisis at times like this thanks guys xx
Sorry for the bleak post but needed to get it down and out!

Surprise Surprise

It will be our daughters 30th birthday on tuesday Oh no my baby how old do i feel now !! anyway she is having a party on saturday the theme is we all have to come as her { those who know sue this will come as no surprise she has always been outgoing and bubbly} we have not told her we are going so it has been mad text messages to her friend to see if we can have a bed for the night, arranging things we will arive in the afternoon so i can give her a hand with things, reallt looking forward to it can,t wait to see her face. Had a text tonight from sue it said " getting really excited about my party but it won't be the same without my little ma and pa" little does she know he he!
I am going to stay up for the week after to see mum and grandchildren and our eldest daughter that will be nice especially after i had to cancel the last trip.

INTERESTING WEEKEND

Spent most of the weekend on the computer, not blogging! but tracing family trees both tony and i really got caught up in it all spent absolutely ages the time just flew, did not get our lunch until 3.00pm on saturday, but a very good outcome on both, got mine down to the great grandparents, found out that great grandad came to england after what we presume as being persecuted in france in the middle to late 1800s , so leads me onto finding out a little more maybe going into the french records, they also changed their surname so it was quite difficult to trace but got there in the end! it is so captivating. Tony has done remarkably better and getting his back to 1735 he has letters that were his grannys written by her brother in Kansas in 1914 which gave more details of births and more names we could then follow up. As you find some things out a whole new chapter begins ? Even got my mum involved and have told her to write everything down that she can remember so i can do more digging. A very constructive time spent together, i can recommend it for others to try i am loving it !!

Short time at home

I will be having a quick turn around from my holiday as i am back up to london early next week due to my mum not being well, it is such a worry being down here at times, she gets quite depressed and has now told me that she has got a bad rash on her back and legs, but has left it because she did not want to go to the doctors , but needless to say the thing has got worse, so made her an appointment for today and made her promise to have a district nurse come in if needed at least until i get there next tuesday. It feels like a role reversal of mother and child at times. Feel so guilty at times as we left to come to cornwall for a better life and there she is without us up there. Have ordered her a new motored bath seat so i will be there when that comes on wenesday and will have to do a complete clean of the house I am trying to persuade her to have a home help in twice a week i think i won, but she also doesn't like her routine disrupted but things are getting worse in the house, it is a shame that the government took away the funding for home help so she will have to pay privately.
Holiday over!! will try before i go to get some phots up on the blog this weekend.
Got my friends dogs this weekend so will get some overdue exercise which is badly needed i can tell you, over indulgence on holiday tut tut ! Be nice to get them down onto the beach they love it there then maybe the woods.

Happy anniversary

Well it would have been my parents 55th anniversary today, if dad had lived, talking last night to mum she was saying that they honeymooned in ramsgate in a little b and b for a week, nowadays the bride and groom seem to want a fairytale wedding and get into thousands of pounds debt to do it, rant over!!
And the year my parents married was the queens coronation and that they watched it on her sisters tv as they did not have one of their own, and being a football fan as she is Stanley Matthews won the F A cup with blackpool i know where i get my love of football from! Thinking about my parents that they were only married for 30 yrs which is less than i have been married now, quite a sobering thought really. Mum was 28 then and dad 9yrs older, looking at their wedding photos they just look so much older then maybe it's the clothes or the black and white pictures. I expect our children think the same thing now. Happy anniversary wherever you are dad x