Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Mixed emotions

I have written the start to this post three times already. How do you start to say you have lost someone so close without it sounding morbid? you can't !
Mum passed away two weeks ago today. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions for myself and the family over those two weeks, we cannot even lay her to rest until the 29th april beacause of the easter break and the crematorium being fully booked, so i have come home to cornwall for a week just to unwind a little if possible, but it seems worse here not being with the girls!
Just had a phone call from the minister who will take the service so it brings everything back to reality again, seemed a very nice chap wonderful to talk to so that was some comfort.
Had to leave doing the post yesterday so i am trying again today. I think all the dreaded paperwork is now finished can't do anything else.
My one consolation is that mum died peacefully in her sleep in her own house and not in any pain, but it certainly does not ease the pain of her going she will be missed so much by us all.
The little routines you had when they were here like telephoning at a certain time, ringing to say we are home safe, did you see that great football match, silly things you would have said, i cannot believe i shan't be doing these things again.
Not sure if i want to be on my own or have people around me its such a strange emotional time at the moment, but i'm sure things will ease with time.
In times like these you know who you can rely on to always be there for you so all my love and thanks to my family and friends xx

Words are often inadequate to communicate all that we feel in our hearts


Tricia said...

J - I believe your "Thought of the day" sums up so well what you must be feeling, and you have written your post so beautifully about an obviously much loved lady.

I could offer all the platitudes under the sun, but that probably wouldn't help at the moment.

So - a big hug; and I'm thinking of you.

oldcrow61 said...

My dear, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. Lots of hugs and will be thinking of you.

Pete said...

((Jan)) if you need me you know where I am

avalon said...

Tricia: Thankyou so much i struggled with the post i must admit. Nice to know you are thinking of me.

OC: Thankyou for your thoughts

Pete: Thanks for your support i really appreciated it.

Jan said...

I am so sorry to hear your news. Know how bad you must be feeling, I dread the day when it will happen to me. Sending hugs your way.

avalon said...

Jan: thankyou it was just the suddeness of it all happening not had time to come to terms with it yet.

Miranda Bell said...

I've literally just found your blog - it was the "Little Piece of Cornwall" which caught my eye as I got married at Gunwalloe on the Lizard and if wasn't living in Brittany I think it would be a great place to live.

I'm so sorry about your loss - it's not something I've gone through myself as yet and can't begin to think what it must be like - it must be a comfort to know that she didn't suffer. I can't really say anything more than others have said but just know you're in our thoughts...


avalon said...

Miranda: Thankyou for dropping by, when things are a little more back to normal i will do more posts on cornwall views Promise!! Brittany sounds lovely as well will check you out.

Anonymous said...

Dear Avalon, I don't know what to say, but wanted to stand up with the others here and offer cyber hugs and thoughts so you don't feel too alone. Omi xxx

avalon said...

Omi: Thankyou so much for the cyber hugs it is nice to know people care and are thinking of me x